


Come Back My Dream

by a_lanart - the younger (a_lanart)



Series: Subtext [7]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-28
Updated: 2010-04-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 05:23:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_lanart/pseuds/a_lanart%20-%20the%20younger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry continues to make progress after the events on Akritiria but is shaken by what happens in 'Blood Fever'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back My Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song 'Into my Arms by Deine Lakaien which is on the cd Kasmodiah.

~*~

Come Back My Dream

*

Damn Torres to hell! But then, maybe I should be thanking her. No matter what else happens now, she has managed to break through the safe little cocoon I had wrapped around myself and Tom. Never mind that that same little cocoon was stopping me from actually moving any further down the path to where we used to be. Now it's gone, ripped wide open and scattered to the stars and I still don't know what to do. Wait a minute, that isn't really true... I know exactly what to do it's just the how of it that escapes me... and makes my palms sweat and my heart pound. It scares me, but I am not going to let that stop me. Not this time, because what's at stake is my life and my future and any chance at happiness that I still possess. Tom Paris does not belong with B'Elanna Torres, and I'm going to make sure he knows it.

~*~

It's easy to stalk someone in whose company you already spend most of your down time. The difficult thing is to be subtle, and not to let them know they are being stalked unless you want them to. I don't think Tom really noticed that all of a sudden wherever he turned I was there. Easy on the bridge - after all we are on the same shift - but more difficult otherwise because of the distance I had put between us after Akritiria, despite our having made up some lost ground. Over the period of a couple of weeks or so Tom found out that he could go almost nowhere without me. To be fair that doesn't give me much credit as it isn't hard to insinuate yourself into someone's company when they a) were used to you being there in the past and b) want you to be there. He never once said anything, but took genuine pleasure in the fact that I wanted to be with him more often. The pleasure *I* got from just being with him on a daily basis made me want to kick myself for not waking up to the fact that I'd still been missing his company. And then I had the added frisson of knowing I had an Ulterior Motive...

 

I started to leave him gifts - little things, now and then; a few replicator rations transferred to his account, a holonovel I thought he might like, notes on his console waiting for him at shift end, and once, a single red rose. He seemed faintly mystified at the last as I'm sure he had suspected me of the rest; there are few people who know him well enough to realise he likes holonovels that can also conceal the information trail in the computer system. Oh he tried to find out who was leaving the notes and the rations, but I'm not an Ops officer for nothing and I could out-sneak him on Voyager's computers easily.

 

I was seriously enjoying myself, especially when I found these almost hopeful, bemused little glances getting thrown my way by Tom. I decided it was time to plan the big seduction. My quarters rather than the holodeck I thought; I didn't relish the possibility of having a power outage on the holodeck at a critical moment and it *had* to be before a rest day...

 

I had to beg, steal and borrow with a vengeance without alerting Tom to the fact, and I found I had an unexpected ally in Chakotay. *He'd* realised what I was doing and had gently asked me, in his counsellor's persona, if I was sure I was ready. The answer seemed to make him very happy, and he certainly helped to cover my tracks a time or two as well as obliging me with the duty shifts.

 

Then at last...

 

Shift end, with the prospect of two days off ahead of us. We were discussing trying out some new holoprograms on our way to the mess hall when I stopped and casually asked Tom,

"How about coming over to my place instead? Dinner's on me." Tom grinned,

"Since when have I ever needed persuading *not* to eat Neelix's cooking? Especially when someone else is buying."

"Great. See you in about half an hour then?" My heart was pounding and we were standing so close I was sure he must feel it, that it would give the game away.

"Half an hour it is, then. Shall I bring anything?" I grinned back at him.

"Just yourself," I said and gave him a congenial slap on the shoulder before making for the nearest turbolift. Tom just stood in the corridor, thoughtfully watching me go.

 

I tried to look at my quarters with fresh eyes, as if I hadn't been planning this for weeks. I'd decided not to be too blatant - this was no candlelit dinner - but I'd dimmed the lighting, and re-arranged the seating slightly, using floor pillows around the table, instead of the usual benches. I was quite pleased with the overall effect - soft touches, but still 'me'. A bit of an Oriental theme from the food to the soft, healing music of bamboo flutes. Not bad. I dived into the bathroom to make sure I matched the effort I'd made with everything else. Black jeans, in a very tactile, almost silky fabric and a shot-silk shirt in shades of blood red that caught the light and made it ripple with every movement. I left my feet bare, and brushed the gel from my hair - the way Tom preferred it. I was as ready as I'd ever be.

 

I'd just put the finishing touches to our meal when Tom arrived. He inhaled appreciatively and glanced around the room with a smile on his face.

"Hey Har, you've really pushed the boat out. You didn't have to do this..." I cut him off with a gesture and a smile of my own.

"I wanted to. It's been a long time." Wheels within wheels... I could almost see the calculations going on in Tom's brain until he arrived at the correct answer.

"OK, then." The message wasn't in the words, it was in his eyes; they were positively glowing. I had just been given tacit permission to do whatever I wanted, in whatever way I had planned. He knew it was me who had sent him the notes, the rose, the holonovel, the rations. He'd suspected, I knew that, but as soon as he walked through my door he *knew*. For an instant of eternity we just gazed at each other - his eyes piercing mine, mine burning into his - as we reconnected at a visceral level; deeper than lust or love. I think at that moment we could have fucked each other senseless in front of the whole crew and not cared. We broke contact simultaneously; it was too much to be borne. I watched Tom swallow convulsively as I tried to draw in some deep and calming breaths. I moved away, to where I'd laid the food out.

"Come on, before it gets cold..." He followed, more than a little bemused I think at the rapid change of direction. He settled down, and looked even more puzzled when he realised there was no cutlery.

"I can't use these!" he groused, waving the chopsticks I'd provided around in disgust. "I'll starve..."

"Then I'll just have to teach you, won't I? Can't have you starving when I've gone to so much trouble..." We grinned at each other. I'd threatened Tom with chopsticks a time or two, but he'd always managed to inveigle his way out of it. Now I had him at my mercy...

Using chopsticks is easy, though there is a trick to it, and watching someone who hasn't got it is amusing to say the least. I quit showing off, even though it was great fun, as Tom became more frustrated although he was trying not to laugh himself. I shifted so I was sitting behind him, and placed my hands on his.

"Like this," I whispered, and proceeded to show him exactly how to handle the recalcitrant chopsticks. As we touched, I could feel the heat building between us again, but it was suppressed by the laughter we were sharing; Gods, but it felt good to be that way again with him. My hands were still on his, and I felt when he finally got the hang of the chopsticks, but I didn't move them immediately as I was too busy enjoying the feel of his skin. I felt him chuckle again, he knew exactly what I was up to, damn him. I couldn't help another laugh escaping myself as I shifted away from him to the other side of the table once more. I picked up my own abandoned meal and met his eyes over the rim of my bowl. He grinned back at me, before demonstrating his new found skill. We ate in comfortable silence for a while, casting furtive glances at each other and failing dismally in trying not to be too obvious about it.

I noticed that Tom had managed to miss his mouth at some point, and had a smear of reddish sauce across his chin. There was only one way to find out which it was. I reached out carefully, wiping the sauce off his face with a gentle finger. He protested, laughing,

"Harry!" But the laughter died as he watched me lick my finger and slowly, carefully suck the sauce off it. He was still staring at my mouth as I thoughtfully tapped the same finger against my bottom lip.

"Hoi-sin." I announced into the now heavily charged silence.

"What?!"

"On your face... hoi-sin sauce." I paused; I felt like my eyes were burning as they drank the sight of him in. "But you can check if you want..." With that, I leaned across the table to capture his mouth with my own. After a millisecond's hesitation, Tom returned my kiss enthusiastically. I think I'd taken him completely by surprise. We explored each other's mouth thoroughly, only breaking apart when the plates started to clatter to the floor. I struggled upright somewhat shakily, and held out my hand. I hardly dared to breathe until Tom slipped his own into my lax grip. I tightened my shaking fingers around his, and drew him toward me; around the table, then into my waiting arms.

Back where he belonged.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Come back my dream   
Into my arms, into my arms

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

For the longest time we just clung to each other, our hearts thundering in tandem as we hung on for dear life; never wanting to let go, never wanting the moment to end even though we were both filled with desperate longing. At last, I gently released him, only to cup his face in my hands, losing myself in the depth of his eyes. He turned his face gently to kiss the fingers one hand, sending an electric thrill through my body right from my fingers to my toes - and all points between.

"What do you want, Har?" he whispered, his voice as shaky as my hands. It was an echo of the question he'd asked before our first time together; so I gave him almost the same answer, after all my feelings for him hadn't changed one bit.

"Everything. You." I breathed. My lips were centimetres from his.

"Then take it..." I needed no further urging to claim his mouth again. Not so tentative this time, the kiss was glorious and hot. It went on and on and on in a tongue tangling frenzy. How had I let myself forget this? Still, no matter now. Tom was where I wanted him, in my mouth and under my hands. I managed to undo the buttons of Tom's shirt without disengaging from the battle of our tongues, so I could get to his skin. I needed to touch him, to feel him without the barrier of his clothes. I let my fingers dance lightly down his chest, brushing softly across his nipples. He moaned into the kiss, I smiled against his lips and did it again, swallowing a louder moan with my insistent mouth. He shivered under my fingers, and I relented, lifting my lips from his as I pushed the shirt from his shoulders; only to let my hands wander over his skin once again, revelling in the soft fuzziness of his chest and the lines of his much missed body. I lowered my head to nibble gently at his lips and chin and neck and was rewarded with another shiver and matching groan.

"Like that?" I whispered against his skin.

"What do you think?" Tom's eyes were sparkling, daring me to do more. Of course I had to oblige and I felt his hands tangle in my hair as I carried on nipping and sucking, tightening on my head almost to edge of pain as I latched onto first one nipple, and then the other. His moans were louder now, more desperate, as I twirled one rosy bud between my fingers while alternately nibbling and licking the other. My brain was starting to overload with the desire surging through me and I wasn't sure what I wanted most - to drive Tom to distraction or to be at the mercy of *his* fingers and *his* mouth. My need to maintain at least a semblance of control for the present won. I would thoroughly ravish Tom until he was in pieces. And after that? I moaned around his nipple at the thought. We both shivered.

I came to the realisation that we both still had on far too many clothes. I ruthlessly stripped Tom as fast as I could before sending my own flying after them. Then we were skin to skin. I stepped back slightly to look at Tom in all his naked fair skinned glory, his erection standing proudly to attention, as was mine. The low growl that escaped my throat actually surprised me as I flung myself at him once more.

Our hands were all over each other, touching, caressing, burning, as I inexorably steered Tom backward towards the bed. I misjudged the distance slightly, and the bed hit the back of his knees harder than I was expecting, sending us both tumbling in a breathless, laughing heap.

"Oops..." I couldn't stop chuckling - Tom just looked so surprised. I gazed down at him, still grinning and he stared back, his laughter stilled but managing to look amazingly happy. Then he grinned up at me.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to have you naked and laughing at me?" He said. I poked him in the ribs, not quite having lost my playful mood.

"Be careful what you wish for..." and set about tickling him with gusto, sending him back into paroxysms of giggles. I was enjoying teasing him so much I distracted myself from my primary agenda until I realised his erection was right in front of my nose, within easy reach of my tongue... how could I resist? Needless to say, I didn't.

The first swipe of my tongue across his cock head certainly got Tom's attention and stopped his fits of the giggles instantly. The second made him shudder deliciously. And the third...

"Harry... oh god... *Harry*... please..." I ran my tongue round the head once more before taking him into my mouth. Gods, but he tasted good. I sucked greedily on Tom's cock, my hands slithering down his body to try and hold his bucking hips steady - or steadier at least - my wish to tease vanishing in a haze of lust. I risked letting go of one hip, and gently began to fondle his balls as my tongue and mouth became more demanding, nibbling as well as sucking my way up and down that gorgeous shaft. Harder. Faster. Tom's moans were incoherent now, and I glanced up at him to find those blue eyes blazing into my own, I groaned around his cock in answer and we both shuddered. I let my fingers drift, down, down; rubbing the base of his cock, brushing across his perineum, down towards his asshole, all the while keeping my mouth wrapped around him. As soon as I touched the puckered flesh, I felt his orgasm begin with the slight tightening of his balls. I swapped my mouth for the other hand, gently pumping him as I whispered,

"That's right Tom, come for me. Come for me now, lover." And he did, head flung back in abandon, looking wild and fierce and beautiful as he cried my name and exploded stickily into my hand. I made sure I caught every last precious drop. Now, while he was still breathless and trembling, it was my turn... Carefully I dribbled his still-warm semen down the cleft of his ass, slathering and preparing him with his own cum. Not that he needed much preparing - almost as soon as I eased one finger gently into his hot, tight ass his body relaxed around me. Oh Gods... what had I done to deserve such trust? I moved my finger inside of him and he moaned insistently at me.

"I want *you* Harry... Now... Inside me." I didn't bother to ask if he was ready, his body had already made that clear. And besides, I was now hotter than hell and as hard as duranium. He always had had that effect on me. I removed my finger from Tom, with a soft wail of protest from him and slicked myself down with what remained in my hand, before carefully turning him over. And then... one look down the length of his spine, watching the sweat bead on his flushed skin and I was gone. Lost. My conscious thoughts hurtling into oblivion. All that was left was Tom and Harry, the fire and the love, the desire and the passion. I pressed into him, demanding and gaining entry to that most sacred of places, the temple of his body. Oh Tom. *Tom* The heat. The tightness. Heaven.

No more words between us - we were beyond that. I plunged further into him with every sobbing breath I drew, to be met with the needy backward thrust of his hips. Gods how we wanted this. Craved it. Every endless moment, every movement driving the shadows away, so we could meet as one in the light. Tom around me, under me, healing me, protecting me. The near soundless slap of skin on skin, punctuated by our breathless moans and whimpers of desire, of need. Everything I was, everything I wanted was here in this moment, in this room. Just one more thing... my vision blurred as my body let me know... I held onto Tom for dear life as with one last frantic thrust I emptied myself screaming into his body, and collapsed in a boneless heap on top of him. The silent tears running down my face to merge with our sweat. I slithered off him gently, only to find myself gathered tenderly into his arms, his fingers gently brushing the tears off my face.

"Tears, Harry?" Tom's lips followed his fingers, softly. All I could do was gaze up at him, heart in my eyes. I couldn't string two words together. Then I realised he was kind of dewy eyed himself. I cupped his face in my hand and wiped the one tear that had actually fallen onto his cheekbone with my thumb. "Ah, you've got me..."

"I hope so..." It was more of a croak than a whisper, I think I'd screamed myself hoarse. We smiled tiredly at each other; too drained to move, to think as we settled back into each other's arms though Tom retained the presence of mind to pull the covers over us before we drifted into sleep.

~*~

I woke to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, hair damp from showering, and wearing my robe. We smiled into each other's eyes - he'd been watching me sleep again, something I used to tease Tom about until I found myself doing exactly the same thing with him.

"Red doesn't suit you," I announced, as I pulled him into a kiss. He disengaged gently, grinning.

"And what else was I supposed to wear?"

"Nothing?" I replied, trying for wide eyed innocence, and just managing to miss his intended swat by scooting out of bed. I headed over to the closet, rummaging round in its deeper recesses for a while until I found what I wanted. "Seriously, I thought you might have found this." I shook out the folds of the blue silk robe I was holding, a gift to him from before Akritiria. He stood up, crossing the short distance between us to gather one handful of silk and one handful of me. He smiled.

"I didn't know if you'd kept it."

"Of course I kept it. It's yours." What I didn't say was that it had been my only comfort through some of my darker times, the smell of him still lingering in its soft folds; the only part of him I was certain I would not damage when I touched it. Inevitably he realised that without me having to tell him.

"Oh Har..." The kiss was an almost chaste brush of my lips, finished before it had truly begun. Not a bad thing though, as I really needed to hit the bathroom myself. Tom's laughter followed me through the door, as I left the robe in his hands. I heard the soft susurration of silk hitting the floor. My red robe, I discovered when I glanced behind. Tom was not to be seen. I had a quick shower and made my way back into the main room, loosely belting my robe, to be met with a sight I had never thought I'd see in a million years - Tom tidying *my* room. I just enjoyed the show for a while; his robe was decidedly brief and gave me some very interesting views as he bent, picking up the dishes and our clothes. The dishes got shoved back in the replicator and the clothes ended up in two semi-distinct heaps on my desk. At least he hadn't tried to fold them, as then I would have worried about alien possession or something. He turned to find me watching, and grinned.

"I can't believe you left the place like this, Har, you're usually such a neat freak." I grinned back.

"I must have had something more important to do..." We took a few steps toward each other until we were barely an arms length apart.

"And what would that be, hmmm?" He whispered, reaching for me as I reached for him. I didn't answer as my mouth was otherwise occupied. With his. Again. We broke apart after what seemed both seconds and hours, gasping, chests heaving as we stared at each other. I think I was trying to drown in his eyes. Softly, so softly I barely heard him even though he was only inches away from me, Tom whispered,

"Why now, Har? What happened?" What made you come to your senses and stop being such a fool? Not that he said it, or probably even thought it but it's how *I* felt. I don't know what kind of answer he expected, but it sure as hell wasn't the one he got.

"B'Elanna." He was so surprised he actually pushed me away.

"What!?" Tom stared at me, not with lust any more but out of sheer puzzlement. He ran one hand distractedly through his already mussed hair as I reached out and touched his cheek. The cheek that not so long ago had borne the bite mark of Klingon possession.

"You don't belong with her. In fact she made me realise that you don't belong with anyone," I paused, cupping his other cheek, and moved in closer, "Except me," I breathed, inches from his face.

"Oh. Good." The smile that split his face was alive with pure joy - and an undercurrent of something else... "In that case..." I suddenly found myself being propelled back to the bed; half dragged and half carried. He managed to lose both robes in the process. He pushed me down, none too gently.

"What?.." I didn't manage to say anything else as he cut off any further remarks with an incredibly soul searching kiss. How could I not respond? I did fervently, losing myself in the magic Tom was making with his mouth. He eventually lifted his head, and brushed my hair gently back from my face as he smiled down at me. It was a loving smile, but dangerous. I think I shivered with anticipation.

"Harry Kim, I am going to make love to you until your bones turn to water." His fingers were still gently stroking my face, so hot against my skin. My heart was pounding, and I felt too breathless to speak, so I half turned my head, kissed those burning fingers, and surrendered.

Tom's lips and fingers burned trails of liquid fire across and through my body; touching, teasing, caressing, loving. From my head to my toes, I don't think he left a micron of skin untouched by hands or mouth. And all I could do was whimper and tremble under this loving assault. Brief moments of clarity pierced the erotic fog Tom had thrown me into; Tom on his knees sucking my toes like they were miniature cocks, with almost the same effect on me; the fierceness in his eyes as he bit into the soft skin of my forearm; the sheer *hunger* in him as he finally enfolded my aching shaft in the hot wetness of his skilful mouth.

I was vaguely aware of someone gasping, moaning, begging, and realised it was me, crying out needily for him.

"Tom... Tom... Please Tom." His only answer was to growl around my cock and suck harder, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I nearly arrived there with a flying leap when I felt his fingers, cool with lube, rubbing across my asshole. His thumb stroked back and forth across the base of my cock as one finger sought and gained entry to my body. I could feel myself tighten unconsciously around him, my shudder not altogether one of pleasure, and our eyes met in complete understanding, with a totality of trust and love that would have taken my breath away if I'd had any to spare. I didn't make myself relax, Tom's mouth and fingers distracted me from my fear as he gently and oh so carefully began to move that finger inside of me and did some amazing thing with his tongue. My sight greyed out, full of blue sparkles, my back arching involuntarily under Tom's ministrations, as I felt the rising urgency take hold of me. I let go of my last controls, writhing uncontrollably as Tom eased a second finger into me. I shattered into a million pieces, screaming as he deep throated me at the very instant his fingers found my prostate. Oblivion hit me in a bright rush, cradling me in its sheltering arms.

When my sight cleared, I became slowly aware that Tom's fingers were still inside of me. I glowed at him, groaning slightly as he moved them, smiling down at me.

"I'd say you were just about ready for me now." He wiggled his fingers again for emphasis, and I rewarded him with another moan. What this man did to me! I'd come like a geyser twice, and he still made me want more. I began to turn, not really thinking about what I was doing, to be stopped by a firm hand on my hip. "You need to be able to see me, Har. Take my word for it." The panicky feeling his words produced vanished as he leaned in for a kiss that started gentle, but turned frenzied soon enough as he eased his fingers - three, I realised with a start, not having felt the careful invasion of the third - out of me and slicked himself thoroughly with the lube.

Tenderly he parted my legs, kissing each thigh gently as he exposed the entrance to my body. I felt his cock against my asshole, was almost hyperventilating when he gradually began to push into me.

"Relax Har, I'll never hurt you. I love you." He kissed me again, slowly, thoroughly as he inched further and further inside of me. "I want you so much, I need you," he panted, gazing at me with eyes so full of love and desire I felt myself drowning once more. My desire for him was a smouldering thing, curling up through my body like a phoenix waiting to rise from the ashes.

"Love me, Tom." I whispered. Take me back. Rescue me. Claim me. And he did. His mouth was electrifying against my skin as he moved inside me, sheathed completely now in my body, hands supporting my trembling legs. He withdrew slightly, only to bury himself in me once more, and then he seriously began to move, his rhythm increasing as our moans rose in harmony.

"Harry..." He let go of my legs so he could lean down to kiss me, and I wrapped them around him as well as I could, trying to pull him in deeper. "You're so beautiful... You feel so good. I just want to fuck us both senseless." He thrust into me, still being more careful than he wanted to be, I could tell.

"Then why don't you," I gasped, surprising both of us by meaning it with every fibre of my being. Tom needed no further urging. Faster and faster, deeper, harder, he plunged into me and my body sang with the delicious tension building in me once more. Tom was trembling with every urgent thrust now, almost there. He gazed down out me, eyes spitting blue fire for a moment until they closed as he lost himself, screaming my name, emptying himself into my waiting body. Watching him come sent me over the edge after him, though not with the same force, and we lay together in a sticky, trembling, breathless and exhausted heap. I eased Tom gently off me, but without letting go of him; oh no, never letting go of him, not again; and I wrapped the cover around us. Oh yes, we were both back were we belonged. I breathed a silent prayer of thanks for B'Elanna to whatever Klingon deity wanted to accept it as I slid gently into sleep, cradling Tom against me.   
Now all my tomorrows looked rosy, and it was thanks to her, and this man in my arms.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Come back my dream   
Into my arms, into my arms

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End


End file.
